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Oscars Night: Actors are not always good at dressing.

3/6/2016

2 Comments

 
So, the idea this week was that I was going to write up a snappy and snarky review of the menswear from Hollywood's night of nights, the Oscars. I knew I would be generally disappointed, and I would need to get out my sharp words. I had no idea that the Oscars host would start the ball rolling for me. I'm glad someone at the Oscars finally called out the biggest issue with the men's clothing at the Oscars: Monotony. I love events that can critique themselves, the best kind of pudding is a self saucing pudding.
Picture
Photograph by Kevin Winter/Getty images.
What Chris Rock Said.

Chris, the host for the evening, gave a hard hitting monologue about the nature of Hollywood. Menswear was not the feature here, it was a byline in Chris' explanation of Hollywood's prejudices. Chris' focus was on the academy's nominees only being white, but he briefly addresses the nature of the Red Carpet event before the Awards, which has recently copped a lot of flack for sexist undertones. 

The red carpet is the bit where E presenters, basically the carrion scavengers of the entertainment world, swoop in on famous people and try and get the back of their mic hand on international tv, traditionally showing the public what all the stars were wearing and blah blah blah. What's the problem with that? Only women are asked about what they are wearing. Men are asked about upcoming roles etc, women are asked about their dress. See a disparity?

To rectify this, reporters were discouraged from asking ladies what they were wearing, and Chris jibes the problem with this:

"Every guy there is wearing the exact same thing. You know, if George Clooney showed up with a lime green tux on, and a swan coming out his ass, somebody would go, 'Watcha wearin' George?'"

Yeah I know, it's all more complicated than that, and I'm not going to go into all the aspects of feminism addressed here, there are a large number of bloggers who handle this topic much better than I ever could. Yes, female actors should be asked serious questions, but I think male actors need to rise to the level the ladies are on when it comes to the fashion part of the night. 

​Maybe it's because I am a fashion nerd, but I like the red carpet bit. I like knowing who created what and who is wearing it. I also think it plays an important role for the fashion industry, as it brings the high end couture clothing off the exclusive runways and into a place where the public can see it and understand it. I agree that there is a sexist disparity, and I believe men wearing uninteresting options with little variation is a part of that problem.

Don't tell me these men aren't brave enough, they parade around in front of people for a living. Don't tell me these men can't afford it, the labels offer ladies their dresses, no one buys them. Don't tell me these men are trying to fly under the radar, when they are trying to win an academy award or land the next role, were any of them trying to fly under the radar? Pfft, Fuck off.

[Breathes out.]

Look, anyone of the men on that runway could choose an interesting option. Some did. Most didn't. 

No room for cowards. 


For the sake of naming and shaming, below is an example of the phone-it-in-option that is "The Boring Oscars Tux".
Have I made my point yet? I felt like six examples was enough. I can show you more, and these don't include velvet variations and different types of ties. Let me know if you want more and I'll email it to you, you masochist.

Below are my two picks that I feel are worth talking about.
Let's have a look, shall we?

First one: Jared Leto.  
Picture
Jared Leto - Credit: Getty Images
So this is the outfit that I am most into. There are a number of reasons I love this, and one big reason I don't. Firstly, of all the pictures of suits I've seen, Jared's is easily the best fit. Look at it, it sits perfectly on his body, no crumpling or pulling, no divots in the arms, his tailor knows his shit. Secondly, this looks like something Jared would have picked out for himself, and I think it really represents his whole vibe. Clothing should represent a part of your personality, and this rings true here. Not some standard black uniform or a weird artistic whimsy of a random stylist.

Aesthetically, I love the suit. Simple matt black with a sharp red piping? I totally dig this. I would wear this. I would kill to own this suit. Bring me the pants, and will bring you scalp of an enemy for the jacket. Get in touch via Facebook or or  our contact section!

Criticism-wise, Jared copped a lot for the carnation thingie instead of a tie. If you ask me, I don't think it's that bad. I think it is good to see someone who is trying to do new things and try something different, so although I may not have worn it myself, I'm thrilled someone is actually trying to play around and experiment. I think Jared knows this, and he picked it for that very reason, it makes a statement about him, and I think the media totally took the bait. It got him on every fashion blog page. Clever. So, because of this, carnation passes for me.

So, you can probably work out what I hate by now: The Shoes. WHY JARED?! WHY THE FUGLY SHOES?! It takes it back from a perfect score. You can't see in most pictures, but when you get up close they are actually slippers with a silver snake on them. BUT WHO THE HELL IS GOING TO GET UP CLOSE JARED?! NOONE. From a distance (and in every photo) they just look like old gym trainers misshapen from hours of jogging. It's like he came in in his comfy shoes but will put his heels on when he gets to his work desk. There were better options Jared, better options. 

For those playing the labels game, the awesome suit is Gucci. Dud slippers also by Gucci. So you know, mixed feelings on Gucci.

Second one: Sylvester Stallone.
Picture
Sylvestor Stallone - Credit: Todd Williamson/Getty
If you had told me that two weeks ago that I would be writing about how well dressed Sly Stallone is, I would have treated you poorly and probably not drink with you anymore.

If we look past the fact that his face is goopy, and that he is not a trim young Hollywood up and coming, what you see here is a seasoned Hollywood veteran with nothing to prove. He doesn't need to stand out, he just needs to look good. I think this suit is a really tasteful and demure choice. It is different and stands out from the standard black tuxes, but also looks sophisticated. For someone like Sly, this was a nice option. That said, the guy can hardly talk, so it makes you wonder if this was this choice or if someone picked it for him.

I don't know which label this is, if only someone had asked him....
​
When you really trawl through the photos of the event there were actually a number of dark blue suits, though  most were much darker than this one, so they just look black in the photos. Still, of the blue one's, this is my pick. And I still can't believe it.

Honorable mentions go to Aaron Taylor-Johnson in a playful quicksilver-ish blazer, and Ryan Seacrest in a grey black and white number. BTW, was Seacrest always that weird looking, or is this new?

Did any of you watch the Oscars? I have this dream that one day I can dress an Australian B-grade celebrity for the Logies or Aria awards. I can't think of any I would want to dress though, Aussie celebs are generally repulsive. Maybe one of those guys from Cheez TV?  Share your b-grade celebrity suggestions below, via Facebook or the contacts page! [Please don't.]

And for those of you who were wondering who I thought was the best dressed lady? Whoopi Goldberg. Hands down. The Whoopster's got it goin' on. Unless she kept her crocs on under the gown....

Hmmm....

James VV.

[PS. Remember to like and then follow us on Facebook if you want to updated when these come  out, I'd hate you to miss it. ]
2 Comments
Peter
3/4/2016 05:34:18 pm

I wanna see you dress the 'Good Game' crew for whatever award anyone will give them...

Reply
James VonVinyl
3/4/2016 08:57:56 pm

Thanks Peter. I'll come clean, I have never watched this program, I'm not a TV kind of guy. I really like the idea of dressing 'gamer' tv celebrities though. Dressing famous nerdpeeps.... that would be awesome.

Reply



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    The Turncoat:

    James  gnawed  his   foot off to escape   corporate  slavery  to bring you menswear. He was jaded and offended by what the fashion industry was offering him, and now fights to forge a new path.

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